We will continue our journey with the apostle Paul in a few days. My focus has been on caring for my wife for a few days. Now I’m playing catch-up. Thus today I offer you something off schedule.
The Shadow of Words Spoken
I begin by sharing a story from my past. I share it with you because this incident has had long lasting effects on me and how I interact and who I am today. I have no idea the influence for the negative or positive I had on all of the others present at this incident. What I do know is that I am a changed because of what I said.
Back when I was probably fourteen years old, I loved going to camp. Being the son of an evangelist I got to go to quite a few camps but there were a few that were really special to me. One of those was the district camp meeting of my home state. Nothing compared to the spirit in the air at denominational district family camp. There were always the best speakers, the best music, not to mention all of the beautiful girls from the district in one place at the same time. I thought it was almost like being in Heaven, especially if one or two of those girls liked me.
This particular summer I had my eye set on Barb. She was a pastor’s daughter, attractive and fun to be around. Because of her appearance and great personality Barb attracted a following of friends who just liked being around her, and several of which were guys like me who wanted to get to be even better friends with her than the rest of the crowd.
I tell you all of this to help set the stage for my life altering event. You see, one day there was a group of us gathered outside the dining hall. The guys all were doing their best to look and act the coolest so that Barb, or one of the other girls would affirm some value in them. I’m guessing the girls were doing the same thing to attract the guys. Anyway, it’s in this setting that one of the guys swiped the baseball cap off of my head. At first I tried to act all nonchalant and cool and simply said, “Alright, give it back.” He just smiled and tossed it from his right hand to his left hand. With slightly more force I said, “Come on. Give me my hat.” He laughed and tossed it up above his head to taunt or mock me. I got off my seat and said, “Will you please give my hat back?” And he responded, “Come and get it.” I started to pursue him and then stopped and said the words that have hung like curtains over happy camp memories. I said, “It’s just like a (insert offensive racial slur here) to steal my hat.” He dropped my hat as if it were diseased and walked away. I had crushed him with one word. The rest of the “cool” crowd quickly disbursed, leaving me to my own thoughts and my precious little hat.
Even writing of this horrible and embarrassing incident sends shivers down my spine. I was taught to love all people, short & tall, big and small, Christian and not-yet-Christian, and from the whole spectrum of pigmentation. I knew better than to say what I had, but I said it anyway. If my parents had heard me, you can bet I’d have been chewing on a bar of soap, not to mention experiencing the heating of my back side, and that’s after they’d had me find the fellow I’d crushed and apologize to him. Needless to say, they didn’t hear me, thus I didn’t apologize. I’ve also never been afforded the opportunity to repent and reconcile with any of the kids who were there.
It’s been over twenty years since that incident and my heart still aches for the pain my words have caused. You see, in one simple moment I changed the perspective of everyone who was witness to this incident. The guy who was playing with my hat probably thinks the whole crowd thought the same thing about him. The crowd, by their silence justified or condoned my words. And me, because I am a Christ follower I feel remorse over how my focus on myself and what I wanted led to the corruption of a time of great fun, great fellowship, not to mention a time of spiritual awakening or renewal.
In James, chapter 3, the Bible talks about how when you control your tongue you control your whole body. On the other hand, if you don’t control your tongue it brings trouble. In fact, Solomon wrote in Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” And says even more in Ecclesiastes 5:2-3.
As little children we’re taught a simple little song that, if taken to heart and practice, will help us along. It goes,
“Oh, be careful little mouth what you say
Oh, be careful little mouth what you say
For the Father, up above, is listening with love
Oh, be careful little mouth what you say”
I guess it’s all summed up in Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Take it from me, glorify God with your words by encouraging, challenging and building others up and you’ll never look back and wish you could change things. The world does enough “trash talking”. Let’s do better, be better. It’s what He’s called us to do.
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